Why the marriage ban is discrimination

At both my Work it Mom! post and AWEARNESS post on the marriage ban in California, I've had commenters who "aren't homophobic, but applaud the ban." Not to mention my letter to my fellow Latin@s.

Here's why the ban is discriminatory. Plain & simple marriage bestows economic & social benefits to the couple. By keeping same sex people out of these benefits, that is discrimination. Marriage itself is both an economic and a romantic partnership. In fact love entered the marriage realm way after marriage was just an economic partnership.

Marriage is also a contract with the government and one with your deity. Most of the reactions I have heard and read about same sex marriage involve ones deity. So I propose that you take your god and leave...leave behind the economic benefits that the government gives you. If your marriage in the eyes of your god is so fragile that you can't stand the thought of two women in love, then leave the economic benefits behind.

It was just in the 1960s that we were allowed to marry someone from another race. The 1960s people! How can anyone argue for that today? And in another generation, people will wonder the same about same sex marriage bans.

I have hope for change, but only after a few more years of the youth of this country pushing us old people to wake up and smell it.

My fellow Latin@s, let's talk about this marriage ban

As a blogger who also holds a day job, I've been super slow in posting post-election responses. But here's my open letter to Latin@s about the marriage bans.
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I sat on the couch last night listening to POTUS-E Obama give his acceptance speech while holding the hand of my Latino husband. I cried tears of joy. Thanks to you, my fellow Latinos, those tears became bitter and tears of sorrow. What did you do?

You went to the polls in California and Florida, voted for Obama, for change, for a new start for this country, then voted YES to ban same sex marriage. In Florida 60+% of Latinos, men and women, voted to ban love. They voted for us to move on from the horror of the Bush regime, but tied us down to our collective homophobic past. As a married Latina, I am ashamed of my people. Many pundits and bloggers seem to give Floridians a pass, perhaps because you are in the South. I won't. We are a people who have struggled for everything we have. Many of Florida's Latin@s came to this country to escape the persecution of the Castro regime and yet you persecute those who love the same gender. Think about that when you dance at Castro's funeral.

Now California...You deserve a time-out. Over 50% of the Latinos, men and women, who voted on the proposition voted yes. I know we can be a conservative people, but again, we are a people who know struggle. In Oregon a proposition was defeated which would have pushed our children into English-only classes after two years whether or not they were ready. Is that fair? In California, some of you are native...No immigration. America came to you and yet you are still looked upon as aliens, as guests, and as others.

I've read the literature about othering. When you are an other, you want someone else to be more of an other so you look good. This seems to be the heart of the Black-Latin@ divide. Who is lazier? Hard working? I say fuck all that. We are Americans whether you hold citizenship here or not. You live here and work here? You're American.

At least there is hope in California because the young people know this. It is sad that two of the most oppresed groups in this country, African-Americans and Latin@s, voted to oppress others. I guess that's the solace in Florida...everyone appeared to be on the same oppressive page, except for young white liberals who most likely were also Jewish. The great schlep delivered.

It's a bittersweet day to be a person of color. Yesterday we broke thru one wall and cemented another one. We will never be free until we all are...including our LGBT sisters & brothers. Why can't you see that?

Don't forget to join me in tonight's Town Forum!
If you are in the area, there was a location change. The forum will now be held at LESLEY UNIVERSITY AMPITHEATER, 1815 Mass. Ave in Cambridge. Everyone else, join me here at 6 pm Chicago time or is it now Obama time...*cue MC Hammer dance*

Overwhelmed by joy & the work ahead of us

That's what my Facebook status was last night and I still think it is true. The hubby keeps telling me to perk up. Obama's win was a validation of the goodness of people. Same for me, but I know that we have a lot of work still to do (not that he doesn't know that) and I'm focused on that.

I just posted my reaction to last night and work we have before us at Work it, Mom! It comes down to fighting for equality and last night showed us that if we have taken a huge step forward in terms of race in this country, we took a huge step backwards for LGBT rights. And that is so very sad for me, for us.

It's even more sad when I read on Pam's blog that the final vote for Prop 8 and who voted for it is looking like "70% of blacks, (with black women at 74%) voted for the amendment. That's about 20 points higher than any other racial group." I expect the break out for Latinos will be similar. That's a lot of work to do.

So let's get to it people...Join me tonight at 6 PM Chicago time to discuss what comes next.

A Write to Marry Day Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there was a little girl who had big dreams. She was going to be an archeologist, a teacher, and maybe one day the President of the United States. She knew she wanted to get out of her small suburban town and see the world. When other girls were playing wedding, she joined in, but deep inside didn't think that she would ever find a boy who would marry her. She did dream about having children one day. A husband was always optional. Fast forward to early adulthood and the little girl did find a boy who said he would marry her and tolerate, some days love, her crazy feminista ways. They married in a tiny chapel in Las Vegas. And they left the hotel-casino to live their Happily Ever After.
¤º°`°º¤o,,,,o¤º°`°º¤o,,,,o¤º°`°º¤o¤º°`°º¤o,,,,o¤º°`°º¤o,,,,o¤º°`°º¤o

When I hear people talk about defending the institution of marriage, I wonder if my marriage would really qualify. Yes, as a woman I married a man, but we were not married in a house of worship, even thou the justice of the peace did throw in a lot of "God this and God that." I tried to change up the ceremony so that my dad was not asked "Who gives this woman away" because well, at 18 I left on my own accord, but the JoP still said it. I also thought about having both my parents walk me down the aisle, but was talked out of it. We were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. MYLAST name after we were married, which was a fun surprise for many reasons.

On Tuesday, one of the biggest election days for my generation, Californians will have even more responsibility than usual. The California State Supreme Court has already stated that equal marriage rights are the law of that state. Proposition 8 wants to repeal that and return California to discriminating against same-sex couples.

Why? To protect my marriage? To protect the marriages of Hollywood stars who marry for a few years, get bored, and shack up with their next co-star? As BAC asks, "Hey Newt...Which marriage are you protecting?" This is not about saving us from a crazy judicial system. The same people who want to save us, love that the judicial system gave GWB the election in 2000, and want the judicial system to throw out Roe.

There are times in this country when the judicial system has failed us (Dred Scott) and times when it has pushed us into a new era (Brown v. Board of Education).

Like it or not, this country needed to get its collective butt kicked into this new era of equality and love. Because that's what it is - Equality for all those things us hetero-married folks take for granted and love between two people. How can anyone vote against love? Seriously.

California VOTE NO on PROP 8!!

Photo from Ellen & Portia's Wedding Day album

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Don't forget that VLF is participating in the DonorsChoose Blogger Challenge. We already have one class funded, let's get that second one funded! The teacher is requesting funding to buy books by women authors. Also don't forget that I'm giving out goodies to a few select peeps who donate!

CFP: 33rd Wisconsin Women's Studies and 4th LGBTQ Conferences 2009

NWSA Great Lakes regional members:  Wisconsin would be happy to have you! 
Please share with anyone you think might be interested!

CALL FOR CONFERENCE PRESENTERS for the joint
*33rd Wisconsin Women's Studies and 4th LGBTQ Conferences 2009.*

The Theme will be:
* Collaboration, Co-operation, & Co-optation in the Academy *
* In Women's Studies, Gender Studies and LGBTQ *
* Research, Scholarship, Teaching, and Activism*

* April 3-4, 2009*
*Pyle Center, UW-Madison*

*Submit proposals by October 20, 2008 here:*
*http://www.uwsa.edu/acss/events/09/proposal.htm*