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Showing posts with the label grief

She'll do all of this....and She'll do none of this

I'll teach my daughter / To bang on anything that makes a beat / She ' ll shake-a-boom, she ' ll quake a room / She ' ll ... She ' ll do all of this . And she ' ll do none of this. And it's funny how we hide behind these daughters , Hide ahead of our own herstories. Scared of ourselves. Today is my mom's 15th birthday since her death. It is the last of the 15-year milestones (15 years since her death, Ella's 15th birthday, 15th Christmas, 15th of my birthday). The woman who instilled in me how special I was, how important I am to the world, and who held me to high standards, should be indulging in a tiny slice of turtle cheesecake for her day. Instead a bit of her ashes sit in a tiny urn on my altar.  She hovers over my life as a sage and cautionary tale.  Dear reader, you may be shocked at how I can hold anger in my heart over her death. Well, I do. I am mostly angry at all the wonderful things she has missed out on, including res...