Writing at the intersection of motherhood, feminism and my Latinidad

25 July 2008

I could not have survived high school today

A good friend told me about a co-worker of hers who has been bringing her daughter to work. At first my friend thought the daughter was in trouble, grounded, etc. No...the mom is giving her daughter a few days off from some relentless harassment.

Apparently this 12yo girl kissed a boy. That fact was posted to MySpace and well, it's all over the gawd damn place. Now the boys around her think she's a total slut and go in for kisses because, well if she kissed one guy, she'll kiss them all!

*sigh*

I won't go into vast details, but let's just say that I was in a similar position at about the same age because I didn't kiss a certain guy. I am dense people. I still am. I don't know you're hitting on me until you go in for the kiss or buy me a drink. It's not because I haven't dated since high school, it's because I'm dense. That said, I was too dense to know the guy I was crushing on wanted a kiss one night. He told a bunch of people I was a prude.

Of course when I did start kissing & stuff *ahem* it got around just as quickly.

Thinking back of all the whispers, the in my face accusations, the people who assaulted friends with accusations about me, the boyfriends' moms who didn't like me, and all that fabu stuff from high school...well if I had to add in Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, IMs, text messages...I think I would have killed myself. Or dropped out of school.

Considering that my mother would not have gone for the last option, I might be dead right now.

I have no words of advise for this very young woman. Yes, I could send a message that I've been there, I survived, but really, I can only image the hell she's in...that other girls are in today. Will it pass? Well, there's still college to get thru...

15 years post high school and I still have nightmares about all that happened. I can't recall when the last time I had one, but it's been in the last year.

I can't even allow myself to really stop and plan how I'll deal with this when my daughter is of kissing age. What technological bullying devices will she have to deal with?

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