Viva la Feminista

Spoilers head for Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse and Avengers: Endgame . . . . . . . When Stan Lee died many fans were quick to point out that his legacy is much more than just comic book characters, but the messages that those characters endear to us. He spent years reinforcing those messages on his Soap Box . It is with his words about the power of love in mind that I outline that Avengers: Endgame is a film about grief masquerading as an action flick. Grief is everywhere in the film - appropriately since it takes place in a post-snap, post-apocalyptic universe. The grief of Thor is central to this lesson, but is the one most undercut by humor. Avengers: Endgame begins with Hawkeye losing his family to Thanos' snap. And this snaps something in him causing him to become a vigilante. Rhodey reports to Nat of his slaughter of Mexican gang members. Nat finds him in Tokyo after his latest slaughter. We first see Thor upset because he did not go for Thanos' head, a...

The thing about being creative, especially on the internet, is that once you put an idea out into the world, it grows in ways you may not have conceived or dreamed. I mean, the #365FeministSelfie project grew from the #FeministSelfie hashtag, as well as the countless posts about selfies being empowering . A few selfie projects have come to my attention over the past month, including one inspired by #365FeministSelfie : Katia wrote to tell me that this project was being applied to the glut of red carpet conversations about designers. She called it " Who Are You Wearing? " and asked moms to respond. And thanks to her project, #365FeministSelfie made it to Redbook ! Mensen is taking a really different direction on the selfie path. Hand drawn selfies ! It grew out of her experiences with online dating. And of course the Today Show is jumping on the empowered selfie train with their #LoveYourSelfie series this week. They are connecting the series to "a new TODAY/A...

2015 UPDATE: This challenge will continue on into 2015. I started something that can't go back into the bottle, so let's do this! Read more at my EOY post.  When Jezebel posted a ridiculous piece about selfies being a "call for help," I was well aware that the selfie was under attack from other parts to society. A few days ago the amazing Nina Garcia , of Marie Claire & Project Runway, shared an infographic over Twitter about selfies making us more narcissistic. President Obama looked like he got in trouble over a selfie. Selfie is the word of the year. The funeral selfie apparently is the worst we can get.  But what about positive selfies? Yesterday I saw a mom and her maybe-5yo-daughter taking a selfie. They were making silly faces and snapping pics. Those were memories being made, moments of love that both will likely remember forever. I take those with Ella for the same reason - we are marking a moment in time. Then there are the countless pieces ...

Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance by Rosie Molinary is a self-help guide for those of us who don't like self-help guides. Beautiful You is a book of 365 daily life prompts that not just asks you to reconsider how you see yourself, but to push you to try new things (stop apologizing: ever notice how many times you start things with "I'm sorry but...") that help you readjust how you view yourself, the world and how you connect to the world. I did not read every page of this book as I hope to incorporate it into my gallionth attempt to keep a journal with pen & paper. But by randomly reading days and flipping to pages where the titles spoke to me, I liked the book. I really liked how Molinary lets readers peek into her life (not that she's shy about that as her blog readers already know) such as her tale of how family members made big assumptions about how and if she would add children to her family. This really helped me identify with...

This was originally posted at the AWEARNESS blog. It was just a matter of time until marketers got their hands on their real desired recruits -- kids. In some social media circles, there's no need to woo mom bloggers with free samples of the latest snack chip, instead kids are doing it on their own: In some cases children as young as seven have been offered the chance to become "mini-marketeers" to plug brands by casually dropping them into postings and conversations on social networking sites. They can earn the equivalent of £25 a week for their online banter -- sometimes promoting things that they may not even like. Among the products being pushed are soft drinks, including Sprite and Dr Pepper, Cheestrings and a Barbie-themed MP3 player. Record labels are also using the marketing technique to promote performers such as Lady Gaga. In a time when First Lady Michelle Obama is campaigning to help our children get healthier, this targeting of kids should make us si...

This was originally posted on the AWEARNESS blog Erica Watson is fat and she isn't afraid to tell you either. In fact, her one-woman show is called "Fat Bitch" and if you attend you'll learn a lot more than just how big she is. You'll learn about her 21st birthday party with a major stripper fail and how she thinks that being a cute fat chick is just too much pressure. "People are always telling me that if I just lost weight, I'd be sooo much prettier." I could see the eye roll from a dozen rows back when I saw the show in November. Watson and other "new wave" black comics don't "relentlessly rip audience members who sit too close to the stage" the way one might see comedians do on Comedy Central. Now don't read that wrong: if you do sit close to Watson, she just might put you on the spot to ask if you like to date fatties. Her destruction of our fat/size-obsessed society is the foundation for the show, but she g...

I promise a much better review when I get time to write it up, but for Chicagoans, TONIGHT is the last night to catch Erica Watson and you had better not miss her.  Last night I got to watch an amazing show. Watson is genius at critiquing our weight & beauty-obsessed society (as she says, ugly fat bitches who lose weight just turn into ugly skinny bitches) as well as patriarchy. OK, she doesn't use the word patriarchy and that is where her genius lies.  Watson is able to do what PhD students do in an entire thesis, but she makes you laugh the entire time and without academic speak. For someone who flunked out of UIUC with Ds and Fs, she should type up that routine and get handed the PhD. Dr. Fat Bitch! And her use of the word bitch is partially empowering, partially not so much. But it's used well.  While the audience was overwhelmingly African-American, us lighter skinned peeps were laughing just as loud with the jokes. She critiques race issues without resorting...

Seriously, why do magazines think that we won't notice? Or are they truly going with the "a photo is just the beginning of our art project" theory? Because if photos are just an art project for them, then just fucking say it. This time around Kelly Clarkson is the winner of the photoshop diet. We've seen this done to plenty of other women in Hollywood, including my favorite America Ferrera . Kelly Clarkson's weight has been an issue since her "American Idol" days and she seems to have weathered all the talk very well and with all the confidence most of us wish we had when it came to our bodies. That must be why "Self" wanted to feature her in their magazine. But why then would they photoshop her multiple sizes down? Even looking at the ' behind-the-scenes' video you can see that Kelly's arms are larger in real life. " Self" comments that, "Our picture shows her confidence and beauty," which reveals to me tha...

When I was pregnant I dreamed about having a daughter. And I kinda freaked. How could I possibly raise a strong women-child in this body obsessed world when most days I loathe my body? How long could I fake it so she doesn't pick up on my body hate? Well the Goddess did send me a woman-child who not only looks JUST like me but her favorite thing to do with me is to squeeze my belly fat. OK she likes to do that with everyone, but she also adds in "Mommy's the squishiest!" You'd Be So Pretty If...Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies - Even When We Don't Love Our Own by Dara Chadwick tackles just this issue. This was a painful book to read but I loved it. I'm also mailing my copy to Amy . She was over when I got the copy and looked at me, "I want that!" This was one pseudo-academic book that really used the personal memoir aspect perfectly. Chadwick grounds her book in exploring how women learn to criticize our bodies from media, but especia...

To celebrate I will attempt 24 hours of not hating on my own body: I will enjoy the moment when the kid wraps her arms around my belly and says, "I love you mommy because you are squishy!" I will have a good hair day, no matter what. I will enjoy using my body to garden (project at work!). I will sit up straight. I will smile because I'm happy not because someone tells me to. I will eat without guilt, even if I watch my portions. What will you do for yourself today?

October 15th is Love Your Body Day . It's a day of action sponsored by the NOW Foundation and many other organizations . Rosie of Hijas Americanas has a pledge & contest up on her site for those brave souls who take her pledge : The Body Warrior Pledge Because I understand that my love and respect for my body are metaphors of my love and respect for my self and soul, I pledge to do the following: To stop berating my body and to begin celebrating the vessel that I have been given. I will remember the amazing things my body has given me: the ability to experience the world with a breadth of senses, the ability to perceive and express love, the ability to comfort and soothe, and the ability to fight, provide, and care for humanity. To understand that my body is an opportunity not a scapegoat. So jump on over to her site , read the rest, comment and love yourself. It's not too late for you plan your own LYB event either! ============== And lastly, don't forget that V...

If you could be 13 again, would you? I would if I could bring You're Amazing! A No-Pressure Guide to Being Your Best Self by Claire Mysko with me. I'm not exaggerating or sucking up to Claire, whom I met at WAM!. I don't think high school would had been too much different, but I would had felt far less lonely. Mysko discusses body image, stress and stereotypes with the sensitivity of a loving big sister or that cool older cousin. She opens each chapter with data from the Girls Inc. The Supergirl Dilemma report (Girls Inc produced this book). While it is a source of many depressing moments (e.g. 84% of girls said that girls are under a lot of pressure to dress the right way.), it does set a starting point. Mysko goes on to discuss strategies for the girls in order to overcome obstacles and meet challenges. She also includes conversation starters for approaching trusted adults. The book is frank and doesn't talk down to the girls. Like any good "self-help...

First off, the only negative for this book is that it is from Seal Press, so I know right off some WOC will not buy this book. I bought this book last summer. That said, I really did love this book, so if at all, go pick it up from your local library. Read it in Borders and reshelve it. I don't care, just get your hands on this book. That said, let's get into the review. The back of Hijas Americanas [ WCF , Powells , Amazon ] by Rosie Molinary sets up the entire book by asking - How Latina Are You? This of course forces you to come up with a definition of what is a Latina. Does she speak Spanish? With an accent? Have tan skin? Molinary delves into these questions and much more. This is another entry into what I'm calling pseudo-academic books. It's not a slam, but an acknowledgment that a book chock full of research and data is wrapped up in a memoir. Unlike other pseudo-academic books, this book is about the research first. Molinary surveyed Latinas from around the ...

The hardest part about raising a daughter has been watching my mouth. I swear a lot. I use the F-word A LOT. I also take almost any opening I get to say something negative about my body. "Oh these chicken breasts are huge!" I bet they could at least button their shirt. As women, I think we all do this. As a woman who isn't a size 8 much less a size 2, I do this constantly. I work in an all-woman environment and at least once a week we find ourselves in some sort of "My body is worse" pissing match. So when I read Rosie's post my heart broke and I teared up at its brutal honesty: One of the things that I often talk about is the need for us to modify our own language– what we project about ourselves– and the language of others. That instead of saying “I hate my cellulite” when someone else says she hates her nose in order to be in companionship with that person, we should say, “I can’t imagine why you would hate your nose, and you have a smile that lights up...

Head on over to Hijas Americanas today because I'm the featured Body Warrior. Leave me some love if you want. Technorati tags: Hijas Americanas , body warrior , body image , Latina

This week is full of deadlines at work, so I give you some homework and this one is a tough one. I want you, the women who read this blog, to consider becoming a Body Warrior. What is a Body Warrior? Author Rosie Molinary features Body Warriors on her blog each Tuesday : ...women of all ages and backgrounds celebrating their body, beauty, and identity. Would you like to be A Body Warrior to Meet? You don't have to be 100% happy with your body or yourself to be a warrior...some of us like me are constantly working on our love-hate relationship with our bodies. The questions Rosie asks of the warriors are hard ones to answer...at least for me they were. My answers were short and hopefully sweet. I'll let you know if I'm featured. Technorati tags: body image , Hijas Americanas , Rosie Molinary