At both my Work it Mom! post and AWEARNESS post on the marriage ban in California, I've had commenters who "aren't homophobic, but applaud the ban." Not to mention my letter to my fellow Latin@s.
Here's why the ban is discriminatory. Plain & simple marriage bestows economic & social benefits to the couple. By keeping same sex people out of these benefits, that is discrimination. Marriage itself is both an economic and a romantic partnership. In fact love entered the marriage realm way after marriage was just an economic partnership.
Marriage is also a contract with the government and one with your deity. Most of the reactions I have heard and read about same sex marriage involve ones deity. So I propose that you take your god and leave...leave behind the economic benefits that the government gives you. If your marriage in the eyes of your god is so fragile that you can't stand the thought of two women in love, then leave the economic benefits behind.
It was just in the 1960s that we were allowed to marry someone from another race. The 1960s people! How can anyone argue for that today? And in another generation, people will wonder the same about same sex marriage bans.
I have hope for change, but only after a few more years of the youth of this country pushing us old people to wake up and smell it.