Writing at the intersection of motherhood, feminism and my Latinidad

22 December 2008

16 years

Sixteen years ago a friend asked my husband if we were dating. He turned to me and asked, "So are we?" I replied with a shrug, "Sure." And the rest as they say is history.

I'd never even attempt to say that it's been easy, in fact it's been really hard. Two headstrong people trying to make one life together is hard. Add in an equally (or even more so) headstrong child and our life is ripe for explosions.

If we could do it over would we have done things exactly the same? No, but we also know we wouldn't be where we are today without all the mistakes, stumbles, etc. And I think that's the hardest part of living with someone for so long, letting go of the stumbles and feeling content/comfortable/happy with where you are today. Of course it is so much easier for us because we are privileged with two amazing jobs, a healthy daughter, a family of friends and a roof over our heads.

It's kinda scary to think that next year we'll have been together for half of my life.

4 comments:

Congratulations on such a wonderful accomplishment! You've done very well for "two headstrong" people! :)

Oh I love an enduring relationship of equality. Congratulations.

Congratulations-- on the 16 years and writing about it with such tender honesty. I was recently walking with a friend who is a newlywed and after the usual pleasantries, I said, "I know it is just so hard. How are you?" and she exclaimed, "Thank you! Everyone keeps saying 'are you soaking up the married bliss?", and it makes me feel such shame that I think parts of being married are so hard. I am so happy to have him in my life, but it doesn't mean it's easy." As women, as feminists, we have such a resposibility to each other to speak the truth-- the gory and the glorious. I love that you do that every day, and I know that is one of the reasons why you have a relationship that endures and grows and a child who blossoms while growing strong.

Thanks all. Rosie, hell yeah! We must be as honest as possible.