Skip to main content

Just so you know, my phone works in the middle of night

I was fast asleep at three in the morning when I got the payphone call,
And she said, ’did I wake you up,’ I said, ’hey, no, not at all.’

~Dar Williams "The Blessings"


I am almost speechless folks. I seriously can NOT believe that anyone, much less an advice columnist, would say it was ok for friends to NOT come and get you in the freaking ER in the middle of the night. Especially if you are calling because someone drugged you at a club. Did I mention that you are supposed to be best friends with the cold-hearted slackers? 

Thankfully Amy Benfer read the riot act perhaps three times over to unnamed "advice columnist" - you can get all the info in Amy's post.

I know everyone says the internet is our new permanent record and we should watch out what we say, but I blog to not just get my opinion out there, but to also share my hard learned lessons.

So I was left at a club once. I went to the bathroom and my friends left me. We were an odd numbered group. A pair had gone off to get a drink and left a trio. I had to pee reeeeeaaaaalllll bad. So I said, "I'm going to the bathroom. Wait here!" I swear I was gone just a few minutes. I grew up in a house with two sisters and one bathroom - we peed fast. But when I got back I couldn't find them...Anywhere.

I was lucky. I decided to hang out with a bachelorette party and not to leave the club.

Thankfully my friends knew where my then-fiance was hanging out with his buds and a few hours later they showed up at the club.

So my friends - those of you I have met in the flesh and those of you who are still just an avatar - if you need me at 2 am, 3 am or whenever to come get you at a club, the ER or some random street corner of our world, I'll be there. The only reason I'd ever not come is if I'm home alone with the kid.

I don't need to be your BFF to promise this. I won't sit there while you cry on the phone and think, "I have a 9 am meeting!" or "What has she done for me?" Instead I'll grab my baseball cap and car keys as I run out the door.

This whole incident makes me want to know WTF the woman's so-called friends were thinking, are thinking today? WTF does the advice columnist define as friendship?

Clearly she said that only blood-relatives are expected to come running in the middle of the night. Well wouldn't most of us be pretty darn screwed since most people don't live anywhere near blood relatives? Does this columnist know how many of us are crafting our own families? That because we don't live a few blocks from Mom and our Aunties that we surround ourselves with trusted and loving friends for times just like this? I have no idea how I would get thru my life without my husband and chosen family.

So I know what it feels to be left behind and scared (althou luckily not drugged!). Because of that, I'll answer my phone and come running. Just call and I'll be there.

Popular posts from this blog

I wrote a book: J Is for Justice! an Activism Alphabet

  From A to Z, discover your power to speak up for what you believe in and change the world! With empowering language and vibrant illustrations, this alphabet board book calls little ones to action with big and small steps that children can take to lead the way and become the next generation of activists. Written by Veronica I. Arreola Illustrated by María Díaz Perera Purchase your copy today! Women and Children First Using my Bookshop Affiliate link Using my Amazon affiliate link

Kim Moldosky on Amelia Earhart's continuing legacy

  Listen & Subscribe at Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts Kim Moldofsky is an all-around creative person and lifelong learner with a penchant for adventure. Inspired by Amelia Earhart, she  recently flew in a restored 1929 biplane. Read Kim's newsletter to keep up on all the things she has going on. This is her  first book.  Ways to support The Feminist Agenda podcast (affiliate links): Archer & Olive : Use code feminista10 to save 10% on most items Buy books my Bookshop site Purchase books mentioned and reviewed in this episode through my Bookshop affiliate links: It's Her Story: Amelia Earhart a Graphic Novel  Hail Mary: The Rise and Fall of the National Women's Football League  People & things mentioned in this episode:  Wally Funk   1918 pandemic   Amelia's NYT Letter to the Editor   ERA   Dr. Kristin Neff Follow The Feminist Agenda on Twitter 🟣 Instagram 🟣 Facebook The ...

Join the Summer of Feminista

After I posted about the Census and Dept of Ed boxes that don't properly include Latinos & Latinas, I received some comments & emails about this blog. Comments from Latinas about how they felt like they were raised in a feminist way, but without knowing or learning the word feminist. Comments about struggling with feminism as a Latina. Comments about feeling shunned in women's studies courses (as someone who has two women's studies minors broke my heart). So it's been stewing...What can I do about this? The Summer of Feminista (or so I'm calling it now, other suggestions much appreciated!) was born. If you are a Latina and have issues with feminism, things you want to discuss about feminism or merely reflect on how your abuelita raised you in such a radically feminist way despite the fact that she never uttered the word, then I am asking you to submit a guest blog post between the June 29th and Sept 14th, in other words, the rest of the summer. While I ...