Writing at the intersection of motherhood, feminism and my Latinidad

09 June 2014

Summer of Feminista: Friends During Hardships

Summer of Feminista kicks off with a provocative piece by Estela Delgado. Please share your respectful thoughts in the comments.

I have plenty of friends but few are or have been my close friends, fewer are or have been my best friends because for me the forever part has not worked out. I do not know if I should be sad because my childhood dream and desire of finding a BFF did not come to fruition or over coming to the realization that sometimes I outgrow people and others I have only needed in certain situations and or for certain periods of time. Unfortunately, after giving it some thought I have to admit that as I have grown older I have let go of some people.

With that being said, I suppose that as I have gotten older so has my personality and perspective have changed and with them so have my friends. I know we are all different and I value and appreciate it. I am open to learning from everyone, thus I am open to all people from all walks of life. But these differences do make a difference sometimes and it is then when I move on. Nonetheless, I still am in search of those people or that one person who embraces all of who I am, strengths and weaknesses, in my good days and bad days. More importantly someone with patience to understand my weaknesses and is not afraid to challenge them and vice versa.

I have also found myself having more guy friends than girls. Guys talk about everything and do not over think things; it is what it is with them. And I especially like the fact that I get a guy’s perspective on things, and they like getting my perspective too. Unfortunately, I’m not very fond of some women. For starters because I personally think some women are overdramatic. I get it that we are emotional but some overdo it. And secondly, I especially hate it when they speak badly of their bodies and constantly talk about dieting. And if that was not enough they compare themselves to other women and put them down. I do have girlfriends that do that but they do it subconsciously. They are not satisfied with their own body but do not put down others so they feel better about themselves. Regrettably, some women waste their time being in constant competition with each other instead of being friends.

Sadly, I have not been able to find a girl BFF who I can truly say is my partner in crime; someone who I can have girl talks with and who is a little crazy like me. However, I am grateful that there have been women in my life that I have been able to go to and have been there when I have faced life’s challenges. I have to admit that there are moments in life that feminism kicks-in in most all women and rise to the occasion. It is astonishing how when women face hardship differences are overridden and we get support from someone you least expect it from. It is very disappointing for me that I have outgrown or moved away from certain people because we are different. And I hope I can find the BFF of my dreams someday but if it does not happen I’m sure someone will be there for me when I most need them. Friends have always been there for me in their own way during my hardships and I am grateful for that.

Summer of Feminista 2014 is a project of Viva la Feminista where Latinas are discussing girlfriends.  Link and quote, but do not repost without written permission. Read how you can join Summer of Feminista.


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