Puke Pile: WIfe Swap Call
My name is D*** G***. I'm a Casting Producer for ABC's Primetime show, "Wife Swap." [Danger Will Robinson!] I hope you don't mind me contacting you, but we're gearing up for a fourth season at the moment and we're currently looking for unique families with LOTS of personality and strong family philosophies! Specifically, I'm looking for strong, feminist mothers who are proud to be wearing the pants and ruling their roost. [I wore a skirt yesterday and I don't quite rule our roost. Most feminists I know have a fairly egalitarian household. It's not quite 50/50, but we're not whipping our men around the place. See, bias already in the call.]Feel free to forward this on to anyone you think would be interested in this unique opportunity! [No thanks.]
In case you are unfamiliar with the show, the premise of Wife Swap is to take two different families and have the moms switch places to experience how another family lives. Half of the week, mom lives the life of the family she is staying with. Then she introduces a "rule change" where she implements rules and activities that her family has. It's a positive experience for people to not only learn but teach about other families and other ways of life. Wife Swap airs on Disney owned ABC television on Mondays at 8 pm- the family hour! [So very positive to see families used as entertainment! I love how she touts this as a Disney project. Why don't they try this with Disney characters? Oh, wait...most of the mothers are dead! Maybe with 101 Dalmatians and the Artisocats. They both had mothers in there. Oh, wait, the mom in Artisocats was single, right?]
Requirements: Each family must consist of two parents and at least one child between 7 and 17 and should reside in the continental U.S. (There may be other children living in the home who are older or younger than the required ageas long as one child is in the required age range.) [Yes, you have to have at least one child that can remember all the drama for therapy.]
Participating in the show is a very unique experience that can be life changing for everyone. In addition, each family that tapes an episode of Wife Swap receives $20,000 as compensation for their time. Anyone who refers a family that appears on our program receives $1000 as a 'thank you from us. [Very life changing to allow some radical right winger into your home bullying your husband around and you going into her home and seeing how the other side lives. Oh...could I swap with the woman who just had her 17th baby? But I'd sooo have to get at least $100K for that.]
I appreciate you taking the time to read this email and I hope to hear from you soon. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me!
[Where to start? Will you put my child into a situation where she will cry and you'll love it? Will you just go away and stop filling our airwaves with this crap?]