Writing at the intersection of motherhood, feminism and my Latinidad

20 July 2010

Summer of Feminista: Is it really good to be that strong?


Written by Dariela of Mami Talks

Since I can remember my parents have been divorced, they divorced when I was 4 y/o so I really have little memory of them together. And I’m really OK with this. I think they made a great decision cause I love my dad but I know that the harmony in our house was created with us 3 girls only, my mom, my sister and me.

I think that because of this, my mom started to tell us to always go for what we really want in life. “Hijas”, she said, you should be independent, go explore the world, be strong and fight for what you want. My mom herself is an Architect with a master’s degree in Library Studies, as a result she is the only expert in her field in her country, Venezuela, and almost in all Latin America, she is a designer and a consultant for Library Buildings. She definitely set the example for us. I admired how strong and independent she was.

Also, the opposite side of the example was set by the neighbor who if her husband leaves –my mom said- How will she survive? She doesn’t work, she’s a home maker and she doesn’t have anything for herself. Us as women need to have many passions that drive us, that are there only for us. And I agree, during my childhood I went to music school and learned how to play the piano, I also went to dance classes, I was always busy and then I went to Design school while still going to the Music Conservatory and participating in a famous Choral, all those things I really loved doing, I picked them and they were mine, only mine.

I still have so many things I am passionate about and I have traveled and left my home country per my mom’s advice: Anda hija, tu puedes, go meet the World! (Go girl, you can do it!). But wait, is it good to be this strong? Are we going to be so strong that nobody can touch us? Are we going to be these women that end up alone? Is it good to have that many activities and passions? I say it’s good to be strong as long as you know how to balance that together with the rest of the world, if you can also have a happy life with your partner, with your friends and family, have fun and take life not so serious too, if you can share all this with everybody and if you’re able to feel strong too, it’s worth it! We are not isolated, we can be strong, smart, independent and have our very feminine side too, is just a matter of balance!



Summer of Feminista is a project where Latinas are sharing what feminism means to them. Positive. Negative. Academic statements. Personal stories. Learn more or how you can join the Summer of Feminista. This is a project of Viva la Feminista. Link and quote, but do not repost without written permission.

4 comments:

Wow! Dariela, this is a beautiful and thoughtful piece on being a "strong woman." This is a question I ask myself, from time to time. You grow up being independent, creative and resourceful, and the whole world sees you this way -- even during moments when you're not feeling that strong or fearless. There is certainly a price for being a strong woman, but I think that, at the end of the day, strong is what I want to be. Beautiful post.

You're a great example of the balance that is possible!

The beauty of your mom is that not only did she tell you to be strong, she set the example. It is easier to believe you have the power when the person telling you has shown you she did it too...
Love it, Dariela, and it was wonderful learning more about you.

Veronica, thanks for doing this series.

You put it in such nice words hermana, I totally agree!!... Balance is the key word here and pretty much in any other subject. I loved reading this!